Before and After

Before and After

Imagine the next time you are faced with a challenge, issue, or task, and you handle it right then and there. Feelings of indecisiveness, struggle, unworthiness, confusion, or self-doubt are gone. You are led by your clarity and decisive action. There is ease and flow in your existence. You are living a life of purpose and balance.
No magic portal is going to take you to this version of yourself, yet you can get there if you have the right intentions and embrace the journey. Define your Before and After.

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The Action Cycle: Step 6 - Action

The Action Cycle: Step 6 - Action

To accomplish a goal, you have to embrace doing the work. All the clarity and planning in the world is pointless unless you take action. Be the person who will achieve the outcome you want by taking action, baby step by baby step.

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The Action Cycle: Step 4 - Assess Your Options

The Action Cycle: Step 4 - Assess Your Options

Step 4 of the Action Cycle is Assessing your options. If you jump right into action without assessing, you may follow old habits or default reactions. Breathe! Take a little time to brainstorm without the edit button! Let your Best Self control the thinking for a while.

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The Action Cycle: Step 3 - Mindset

The Action Cycle: Step 3 - Mindset

Your Mindset, the way you perceive your world and the lens through which you view your options, is key to any success you hope to have in achieving goals and living a happy life. By consciously choosing how you want to think about the issue, rather than reacting instinctively to the circumstances, you have a distinct advantage.

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The Action Cycle: Step 2 - Acceptance

The Action Cycle: Step 2 - Acceptance

When you’re struggling with something, and you just keep going around in circles or avoiding the topic altogether, acceptance is the first path out. Accept the responsibility to move your life forward, to make changes, to have an impact on your own life. One step at a time.

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The Action Cycle: Step 1 - Awareness

The Action Cycle: Step 1 - Awareness

At any given time, you’re probably contemplating something. Whether it is for your personal or professional life, a little or big issue, there is probably something that you want resolved. You might want more of something or less of something. You might want to fix something that’s not working (literally or figuratively), start a new habit, or make a big change. This is Awareness, Step One of the 8-Step Action Cycle. I hope you’ll read the full series.

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A Sneak Peak into my book: From Doubtful to Decisive

A Sneak Peak into my book: From Doubtful to Decisive

A sneak peek into my book, coming out in 2023, From Doubtful to Decisive: 8 Steps to Get Unstuck and Maximize Results.
You’re aware of feeling stuck, unable to get into action, and it takes up a lot of space in your head but you just can’t seem to figure it out or find the time to address it… Like a leaky faucet or rattling car engine, these thoughts, hopes, dreams, or fears won’t magically go away until you do something about them…It feels painful to be in this state of limbo…

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From Doubtful to Decisive

From Doubtful to Decisive

Doubtful thoughts can permeate your soul and crush your dreams.

“I’m not sure.” “What if…?” “Where do I start?”

When doubtful thoughts grab hold, they keep us in limbo and prevent us from looking for solutions and taking action.

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One Little Shift

One Little Shift

One Little Shift can set you on a new course to a better outcome.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “if you set your course to get across the ocean and you shift by just one or two degrees you’ll end up in a different country!” What if you shift one little thing you do each day? What will your new outcome be?

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Remember, Celebrate, and Have Hope

The gardens are blooming, the Patio is open, and We’re ready for visitors!

The gardens are blooming, the Patio is open, and We’re ready for visitors!

Life is moving forward while the challenges of 2020 are still on our minds. Many people have shared with me that they are feeling sad, discouraged, stuck, or even depressed. They’ve lost their MOJO after struggling through the last year. It’s not a simple thing to flip the switch and “just be happy.”  I think it takes a conscious effort to express what you are grateful for, take baby steps every day and celebrate them! It also takes mindfulness to turn down the negativity bias our brains are wired for, and instead seek out the positive.

I’ve realized that we can still honor the past while also enjoying and celebrating what is going on in the present and giving us hope for the future. Using my own life, here is an example…

Honor and Remember the Past
As we get used to this interim way of being we are still reminded of all we lost last year. I will remember 2020 for so much personal loss; my sister Grace (it’s her birthday as I am writing this), my father-in-law Russell, my cousin Bobby, my Aunt Lucy, and even my dog Celtie and my daughter’s dog, Gracie. I also had to give up my office and classroom where I could give workshops. No year has ever felt this overwhelmingly sad for me and so many around me all at once.

I can turn that loss into an inspiration to make each day count. I can also remember what went well, like the beautiful new patio and extended deck my husband and I built – all by ourselves. We also adjusted quickly, and without too many issues, to both working from home all day. It has given us a sneak peek into retirement, which is just around the corner. We’ve developed new habits and traditions, like lunching and gardening together during a workday and hosting Steve’s mom and my best friend Sheila for Friday night dinner and a movie.

Celebrate the Present

I was in Virginia this past weekend to celebrate not one, not two, but THREE special events for my family. My grandson Gabriel had his First Communion. Gabriel’s mom, Melissa, celebrated a birthday, and our granddaughter Charlotte turned 10! We celebrated all three with barbeques, a girls’ night out, and even a pool party for our family unit.

What a difference 5 months can make. This was the first time the 10 of us were together since Thanksgiving. We gathered with cautious optimism, dare I say HOPE, and a hint of the new way of BEING. Most of us are fully vaccinated or had at least one shot. We still wore masks at church and around town, used sanitizer, and kept our safe distance. Our girls’ night out was at an outdoor restaurant and a little different than it would have been, but the changes weren’t overwhelming.

Change is just that, a change from our “Old Normal” to our “New Normal.” And who knows how long this will last. The important thing is that we are excited and hopeful. We have done what we needed to do to stay safe, free from the virus, and mentally healthy as we’ve adjusted to life’s challenges.

Hope for the Future

I look around me and I am inspired and hopeful, both personally and professionally:

  • My brother Johnny got married to Angela in Brazil, (Angela is Brazilian) and they made a safe return to South Carolina. I look forward to seeing them in person when the time is right.

  • My sister’s daughter-in-law, Jen, had a heart transplant and then texted with me the next day!! All I can say is, “WOW!” Today’s technology and medicine is a miracle.

  • Our grandkids will end the year with vaccinated parents and full-time in-person schooling. AND they are all registered for summer camp!

  • I have clients in 5 states and Australia. (Technology is a wonderful thing!)

  • I’m planning an IN-PERSON book club discussion with my networking group, making good use of the patio we built last year. What a joy that will be – to see everyone outside of their Zoom boxes!

I invite you to honor and remember all the amazing ways you coped through the last year, celebrate all the little and big wins in your life, and practice gratitude to boost your hope for the future. Find the positive path and share it with others.

Are You a Crocus or a Daffodil?

my crocus.jpg

As I emerge from this long COVID winter, having kept myself safely isolated in our home for the most part, I’m noticing what’s happening in our garden. The crocuses are in full bloom and the daffodils are starting to emerge too.

I think about the crocus flower, so delicate and yet so brave to just throw itself up into the air, vulnerable to the weather. Some years they battle through the snow. Luckily, this year it was warm and sunny.

Daffodils on the other hand, emerge slowly and steadily, “testing the waters” and keeping their beautiful flower inside a protective bud that waits till the coast is clear. As I walk past a nearby home with 100 feet of daffodils lining the front fence, I notice that the daffodils with more sun are taller and the buds more mature. It’s showing me how important sunlight is to the flower’s development.

In some ways I am like a crocus. I throw myself into things that I am excited about, whether I know what I am doing or not, and before FEAR keeps me from changing my mind. It makes me completely vulnerable to whatever might happen. For example, I bid on a skydiving adventure fundraising prize for my daughter’s church and won it! When I’m brave enough to use this gift card, I’ll be vulnerable like a crocus hurtling myself out of a plane and flying through the air (with a parachute and a tandem guide).  “If George Bush can do it at 80, I can do it too!”, I keep telling myself. Unlike the crocus, I’m going to wait till summer when the air is warmer up there!

Most of the time, I’m more like a daffodil. My ideas brew underground, waiting for things to warm up. I test the waters, speaking to friends and colleagues about it, and eventually my ideas emerge above ground and get some sunlight. The more exposure to “sunlight”, the faster my idea matures and the sooner I take action on it.

When are you the crocus and when are you the daffodil?
How many ideas remain underground and never see the light of day?
What is your “sunlight”?

Enjoy playing with this metaphor as much as I have, and Happy Spring!