7 Steps to a New Morning Routine

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We all yearn to improve our morning and evening routines in order to feel better about our day and to be more productive. How can we use our time wisely and even fit in some special reflection and prep time while also getting enough sleep?

I like to think of our routines as the framework that allows us to use our most effective mind, rather than trying to willpower or panic our way through the day. “I should” and “I have to” statements have built-in anxiety and judgement. If we say “I will follow this routine” (that I have created for myself), it gives us a feeling of being in control with a commitment to make it happen.

This lesson was drilled home to me a few years ago when I was babysitting for my grandkids. My daughter knew I like to sleep in, but she gently persuaded me to get up just 15 minutes before the kids so that I would be one step ahead of the “must do’s”; breakfast, getting dressed, back-packs, dogs out, bus pick-up, and daycare drop off.  All that happens in a mere 60 minutes! If I wasn’t dressed and ready to go when the kids got up, I would be driving in my pajamas!!

To avoid chaos and disappointment, let’s look at my seven steps to make our mornings calmer, beginning with the night before:

Step 1. Begin at night to prepare for the needs of your family and yourself.

  • Prepare for your morning rush – whatever that might look like, (lunches made, papers ready, clothes decided on).

  • Write out 3 things you will do tomorrow morning; a phone call, an email to write, or a meeting to prepare for. Determine your priorities for the day so you can jump right in without a decision to make. The best time to do this is in the late afternoon or evening while it is fresh in your mind. It makes it easier to get to sleep, too!

Step 2. Determine all the steps you want to fit into your morning routine, then decide the order, how long each will take, and what time you need to be done by. Throw out your old timeline and get tuned into what will work best for you. My list might include: hygiene, dressing, meditation/exercise, journaling, breakfast, talk to my husband, and “walk to work.” Imagine yourself doing each of these steps and determine the best order and location. Be careful for any “have-tos” that might sneak in.

  • Bonus tip. Be realistic with how long things take.

Step 3. Once you determine your time to get up, subtract 8 hours and set your goal for lights out. Our body needs sleep and if we don’t oblige, it will fight back in ways that we can’t control.

Step 4. Write out your plan. I can’t say it enough. If the steps are clear, the mind will oblige.

Step 5. Be prepared for the Inner Critic that will throw out challenges for you. For instance, the Avoider or Hyper-Achiever in you might try to rationalize why today is not the day to start a new routine. Repeat after me, “I have time”, “I will make time”, “This will make my day so much better.”

Step 6. Track a few steps from your routine and what time they should be done by. If you’re really nerdy about it, you can make a chart and check off each step for a week or more to see how you’re doing. Example, I want to be done with my morning mediation and journal by 7:15 and down in the kitchen by 7:45.

Step 7. Do a daily mindset check-in. Are you proud of yourself for any progress you are making? Do you have compassion for yourself when you get behind? It is important to celebrate each win as you start building these habits. You’re actually building new gray matter in your brain, developing new neuropathways that will make it easier and easier to follow this routine.

Good luck and remember to let me know if you need any help or want to discuss what is working or not working for you.

I create my world and the climate around me

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I create my world and the climate around me

This is one of my favorite quotes because it addresses the stress and drama we can feel, especially around those we care for the most. Though it was written hundreds of years ago, it applies to all of us because it is about human nature. Read it all the way through and then I will take it apart, sentence-by-sentence.

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather..."

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Forgiveness And Apologies

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Note: A favorite blog from 2010.  Enjoy!

“We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice.”
- The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself and to the person you are forgiving.

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You Wouldn’t Let Them Play With Matches – Would You?

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Note: This was the first blog I wrote in 2007, written in honor of my mother, Mary Kay Flannery. As the mother of ten children, she saw it all, achieved so much, and was a great role model for me. The lessons here can apply to any relationship where you can play a leadership role.

Twenty-something years ago when my two older children were just 3 and 4 years old, I was complaining to my mother about discipline issues. The kids weren’t behaving and I was sounding rather exasperated about what I wanted them to do or didn’t want them to do.

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Whose Job Is It?

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What happens when 3 different people all think that one of the other two is taking care of something? The "something" doesn't get done! That's called "a poorly occupied role." When a role is not occupied, the job doesn't get done and the blaming, regrets, or frustration and stress begins. "No one paid the mortgage, contacted the client, or booked the hotel rooms for the guests ." 

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