Learn, Do, and Teach

I love to learn new concepts that will make my life better. And then I like to teach them.

I recently started a new coach training program based on the book, “Profit from the Positive”, by Margaret Greenberg and Senia Maymin, both executive coaches who hold a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Margaret is our instructor and 6 of us (mostly other coaches) are connected weekly on a virtual platform.

As we learn new material we are both requested and encouraged to teach others what we are learning – it has been proven that you learn the material much better if you learn, do and teach (my words for it). I have used this technique ever since I completed my first coaching class in 2006.

Learn, teach, do – or Learn, do and teach. Either way, the material gets to a deep level of consciousness for me. The more I do and teach, the more readily the material is accessible when I need it!

There is more than one way to absorb new material. I take tons of notes – when I’m reading the book and during our class. Then I review the notes and sometimes add to them. I think about the material and see if I can memorize any foundational material that is the key to using it. I practice using any tools that come up. I also talk about the material to others and use any new concepts or tools with clients asap.

For instance, in “Profit from the Positive”, the first chapter talks about the three common reasons for a loss in productivity – we are Overworked, we Multitask, and we Procrastinate. Well, if you know me, you know the theme procrastination has played in my life recently. I wrote a book that describes the STOP Syndrome: Stress, Tension, Overwhelm, and PROCRASTINATION! Procrastination is the trait that seeps into our lives and puts a halt on progress while making us feel “less-than”, shameful, guilty, and even depressed.

Non-procrastinators just don’t seem to understand. They say things like, “Just do It!” (I’ve told myself that very phrase more times than I can count). But it’s not just about “doing it”. We are not lazy. Our mind is telling us a million reasons why NOT doing it is so much better in this moment. Things like, “You don’t have time to do it all”, “It won’t work”, “It will be too hard”, or “I don’t know where to start.”

These are evil, confidence-killing phrases that take control of our mind and crush our productivity.

That leads me to the teaching part.

Dr Maymin and Greenberg offer great tools to shift your mindset and get you into action – and that’s just chapter one!

So take this Procrastination:

·         Just Plan It!

·         Trick yourself into getting started

·         Set habits, not just goals (BIG IDEA!)

·         Work less, accomplish more

I recently started with a new client, the day my class covered these 4 tools. I KNEW they would be perfect to share with her. After hearing about these four tools she immediately embraced the first and third tool. We planned out some strategies for the week, breaking a HUGE goal into tiny, achievable parts, and she texted twice in the first 2 days to tell me what she had already accomplished and how great it makes her feel.

She is doing! That is the key. She has broken the log jam of procrastination. I am doing more too!

THAT is a beautiful thing.

Learn, do, and teach. I completed the cycle in 24 hours! Now it’s your turn.

Read “Profit from the Positive” and pass it on!

 

PS. “Profit from the Positive” is a great book - a guide for business leaders, managers, executive coaches, and human resource professionals. I do not gain anything by having you buy this book – I just like to support authors who write great things!

What do you want more of?

When I get stuck or feel like life is not going the way I planned, I sometimes focus on the problem - my time is getting hijacked by external forces, I'm having trouble focusing, or I just don't feel like doing what I had planned for the day, etc. I look back on my day or my week and see how many ways I DIDN'T do what I "should have".

Thinking like this leads to a lot of negative self talk; beating myself up, getting aggravated by those external forces, wishing life was simpler, whatever. All this negative self talk is a sign. A sign that I'm not setting clear intentions and clear boundaries for myself and others. It might also be a sign that I'm asking too much of myself or others, that I have unrealistic expectations.

Let's try to re-frame the negative talk to a positive approach.

What do I want more of? I want more self-commitment and a clear path of action. I want more results. I want to make a list and stick to it. Did you notice I'm still beating myself up a little?

Try it this way: What brings you joy? What would make you really happy and excited, maybe even relieved? How can you boost your own morale and reward yourself for X, Y, or Z action? What can you do to start and end your day to get you in a good mindset? What kind of breaks can you take during the day that will allow you to move, clear the cobwebs, and refresh your body and soul? 

We are not Human Doings. We are Human Beings. Remember that. Be the person you want to be.

I love to celebrate with my clients.  We start our sessions with a win for the week. It's amazing how many times a person will say they don't have any wins, but then when they get started talking about it, they realize they made this good choice and that first step. They may not have done exactly what they said they would do but their brain found a way to take one step closer.

I am going to make mindful choices, celebrate more accomplishments, and focus on how great it feels when I get things done and stick to my plan!

 

I create my world and the climate around me

I create my world and the climate around me

This is one of my favorite quotes because it addresses the stress and drama we can feel, especially around those we care for the most. Though it was written hundreds of years ago, it applies to all of us because it is about human nature. Read it all the way through and then I will take it apart, sentence-by-sentence.

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather..."

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Forgiveness And Apologies

Note: A favorite blog from 2010.  Enjoy!

“We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice.”
The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself and to the person you are forgiving.

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Making a Decision - fight it or embrace it

Making decisions can be tough or freeing.  I don't know about you, but I find that the more layers there are to what the decision means, (or the more it involves money or technology), the more time I procrastinate about making it.  In particular, when the right decision means that I have to figure something out, learn a new skill, or make a long-term commitment to something, I tend to shy away from pulling the trigger.  "I don't have time for that right now," is the usual rationalization.

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A Goal Without a Plan is Only a Dream

I’ve been “blogless” due to other writing responsibilities but now I’ve been inspired! Have you ever had an issue or topic on your mind and then you just happen to find a quote or article that exactly matches what you are trying to say? That has happened to me a few times in my life. 

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You Wouldn’t Let Them Play With Matches – Would You?

Note: This was the first blog I wrote in 2007, written in honor of my mother, Mary Kay Flannery. As the mother of ten children, she saw it all, achieved so much, and was a great role model for me. The lessons here can apply to any relationship where you can play a leadership role.

Twenty-something years ago when my two older children were just 3 and 4 years old, I was complaining to my mother about discipline issues. The kids weren’t behaving and I was sounding rather exasperated about what I wanted them to do or didn’t want them to do.

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Sunday Night Planning

It's Sunday night and I am using my "tree top planner" strategy. What that means is I imagine being up in the top of a tree looking down on my week ahead. I can spend a few minutes dreaming about what I want to accomplish, how I will feel at the end of the week when I've accomplished these things, how will I be closer to my master plan goals, who do I need or want to connect to this week, what have I made commitments to do?

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Prune To Your Heart’s Content

Note: This is one of my old favorite blogs from 2010. Enjoy!

I live in an old farmhouse in a suburb of CT. There are many mature trees including fruit trees in our yard.  Some of the fruit trees have very low branches that need pruning. Most of them are dead anyway. They don’t look good, they detract from the beauty of our yard and they get in the way when my husband mows the lawn!   

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Whose Job Is It?

What happens when 3 different people all think that one of the other two is taking care of something? The "something" doesn't get done! That's called "a poorly occupied role." When a role is not occupied, the job doesn't get done and the blaming, regrets, or frustration and stress begins. "No one paid the mortgage, contacted the client, or booked the hotel rooms for the guests ." 

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