From Doubtful to Decisive

/

Doubtful thoughts can permeate your soul and crush your dreams.

“I’m not sure.”

“What if…?”

“Where do I start?”

 When doubtful thoughts grab hold, they keep us in limbo and prevent us from looking for solutions and taking action.

 Common doubts pop up in our everyday living situations. For example,

  • “I’m not sure if I should get a new car or keep fixing this one.”

  • “I want to retire soon but I don’t think I can and I’m not sure what I will do next.”

  • “I don’t think this is the right time to have that difficult conversation.”

When doubt invades the decision process, it is hard to think of anything positive. Instead, we focus on what’s wrong, what won’t work, what has happened badly in the past.

 As a result of those doubtful thoughts, we avoid, delay, or give up taking steps that would move us forward on our own terms. Those issues almost always rear their ugly head when we are least prepared.

  •  The car you didn’t replace? It broke down on the highway traveling to Grandma’s house.

  • The retirement you put off kept you in a constant state of flux and anxiety to the point you couldn’t enjoy your life and your health suffered.

  • The conversation you never had led to accommodating someone else’s bad behavior for months or even years!

Another category of goals that evoke doubts are ones that would make us proud.  “I want to ____________, but I don’t think I can do it because ________.” These are goals we doubt we have time for, doubt we can handle, or doubt that we are worthy to pursue; learn a new language, move to a new home, start a new career, or write a book.

The goal you talked yourself out of made you feel sad, disappointed, or even ashamed.

Let’s end this cycle for good and take steps that allow you to be in charge of your own outcomes. Ask yourself these two questions:

  • What do I want?

  • What doubts are keeping me from going after that goal?

Write down your wants and desires – really embellish them! Then write down your doubts and challenge them. Flip them upside down. How? Ask the doubtful part of you to take a break and to step back while the confident and curious part of you explores your options. Puff up your chest and raise your chin. Take a few deep breaths and remember that you WANT something; a change, a transition, a new relationship dynamic. You want clarity. You want to get into action. Be clear about your “WHAT” and then ask “How can I make that happen?” Explore your options from a confident, not triggered, and doubtful mindset.

Empowered Mindsets:

  • “This is the time to set this change in motion.”

  • “Progress not perfection.”

  • “I’m worth it.”

I’d like to share my story about a goal that has led to many sessions of doubtful thoughts. Perhaps you can see a similar dynamic happening in your life.

I’m currently writing a book. The working title is, “From Doubtful to Decisive”; a compilation of skills I have learned as a coach, tools and strategies that allow people to shift their mindset, and exercises and worksheets that I’ve developed over the last 12 years. It will also include some of the research, neuroscience, and positive psychology that supports the process of human development, as well as stories from myself and others that illustrate the shift from doubt to decisiveness.

When I committed to making this book happen, I knew I had something to say, but I (ironically) doubted my ability to say it! I wasn’t sure where to begin and how much to share. I couldn’t even sit down to write an outline without my doubtful thoughts bombarding my inner dialogue. That doesn’t sound very empowered, does it?

I had to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with myself and shift my inner dialogue. In this ongoing process, I acknowledge my Doubter, tell her I understood she is fearful, and then write anyway! Because of my commitment to the goal, I am “catching” those negative thoughts and challenging them. I am acknowledging the fear or doubt or confusion that perpetuates those thoughts and setting them aside - inviting empowering thoughts to take the wheel and move me forward.

In “The Power of TED,” by David Emerald, he teaches us that it is our inner Victim that focuses on the Problem, rather than being the Creator, who focuses on the outcome we want.

What is my desired outcome? I want to share my philosophy about mindset, make it fun and interesting, and teach a whole generation of doubtful Creators, that they can have an Empowered Mindset. I want to be a published author with a book in my hand that says, “by Monica Leggett”. I accept the fact that there are no new thoughts, only new ways of presenting them, and I have a unique perspective that (might be) is worth the time to put on paper.

With good people in my corner and enough time writing and organizing my thoughts, I can accomplish my goal and finish my book. That’s why I’ve enrolled in a 6-month writing program for non-fiction writers. See what I did there? I added accountability – one of the many things we can do to accomplish our goals.

 Now it’s your turn:

  •  · What do you want right now, not “eventually”?

  • ·  What are you feeling doubtful about?

  • ·  What goal could be accomplished if you overcame your inner self-doubt?

  • ·  Who can be part of your accountability team?

 If you’d like some help pursuing your goals from a decisive and empowered mindset, please reach out. 2022 is just around the corner – a perfect time to start fresh.

I will be offering one-on-one coaching as well as group coaching – Goal Accelerator Masterminds (GAMs) and Business Accelerator Masterminds (BAMS) in 2022. If you’d like to participate, please reach out!

Happy New Year!