Remember, Celebrate, and Have Hope

The gardens are blooming, the Patio is open, and We’re ready for visitors!

Life is moving forward while the challenges of 2020 are still on our minds. Many people have shared with me that they are feeling sad, discouraged, stuck, or even depressed. They’ve lost their MOJO after struggling through the last year. It’s not a simple thing to flip the switch and “just be happy.”  I think it takes a conscious effort to express what you are grateful for, take baby steps every day and celebrate them! It also takes mindfulness to turn down the negativity bias our brains are wired for, and instead seek out the positive.

I’ve realized that we can still honor the past while also enjoying and celebrating what is going on in the present and giving us hope for the future. Using my own life, here is an example…

Honor and Remember the Past
As we get used to this interim way of being we are still reminded of all we lost last year. I will remember 2020 for so much personal loss; my sister Grace (it’s her birthday as I am writing this), my father-in-law Russell, my cousin Bobby, my Aunt Lucy, and even my dog Celtie and my daughter’s dog, Gracie. I also had to give up my office and classroom where I could give workshops. No year has ever felt this overwhelmingly sad for me and so many around me all at once.

I can turn that loss into an inspiration to make each day count. I can also remember what went well, like the beautiful new patio and extended deck my husband and I built – all by ourselves. We also adjusted quickly, and without too many issues, to both working from home all day. It has given us a sneak peek into retirement, which is just around the corner. We’ve developed new habits and traditions, like lunching and gardening together during a workday and hosting Steve’s mom and my best friend Sheila for Friday night dinner and a movie.

Celebrate the Present

I was in Virginia this past weekend to celebrate not one, not two, but THREE special events for my family. My grandson Gabriel had his First Communion. Gabriel’s mom, Melissa, celebrated a birthday, and our granddaughter Charlotte turned 10! We celebrated all three with barbeques, a girls’ night out, and even a pool party for our family unit.

What a difference 5 months can make. This was the first time the 10 of us were together since Thanksgiving. We gathered with cautious optimism, dare I say HOPE, and a hint of the new way of BEING. Most of us are fully vaccinated or had at least one shot. We still wore masks at church and around town, used sanitizer, and kept our safe distance. Our girls’ night out was at an outdoor restaurant and a little different than it would have been, but the changes weren’t overwhelming.

Change is just that, a change from our “Old Normal” to our “New Normal.” And who knows how long this will last. The important thing is that we are excited and hopeful. We have done what we needed to do to stay safe, free from the virus, and mentally healthy as we’ve adjusted to life’s challenges.

Hope for the Future

I look around me and I am inspired and hopeful, both personally and professionally:

• My brother Johnny got married to Angela in Brazil, (Angela is Brazilian) and they made a safe return to South Carolina. I look forward to seeing them in person when the time is right.

• My sister’s daughter-in-law, Jen, had a heart transplant and then texted with me the next day!! All I can say is, “WOW!” Today’s technology and medicine is a miracle.

• Our grandkids will end the year with vaccinated parents and full-time in-person schooling. AND they are all registered for summer camp!

• I have clients in 5 states and Australia. (Technology is a wonderful thing!)

• I’m planning an IN-PERSON book club discussion with my networking group, making good use of the patio we built last year. What a joy that will be – to see everyone outside of their Zoom boxes!

I invite you to honor and remember all the amazing ways you coped through the last year, celebrate all the little and big wins in your life, and practice gratitude to boost your hope for the future. Find the positive path and share it with others.

Burning Bowl Ceremony: Releasing 2020 and Inviting in 2021

I’ve asked a dear friend of mine, Ele Dootson, to write this post. She is a Life Coach and owner of Radiant Light Coaching.
The ‘“burning bowl “ ceremony can be a powerful way to bring completion to 2020 and to transition to 2021 with mindful intention and peace.

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I think we can all agree that 2020 was a year of unprecedented fear, uncertainty, and loss. It has been an opportunity to dig deep and stretch ourselves in our journey of personal growth and to practice resiliency. We have been learning to pivot in order to adjust to this new climate and find new ways of being with ourselves and others. New Years is often a time when we reflect on the past year and look forward to what we wish the new year to be. Creating a mindful space for a burning bowl ceremony allows us to release the past and invite in what we wish to manifest.

Across many spiritual traditions, fire is a powerful symbol of wisdom, knowledge, passion, purification, transformation, divinity, and light.  Fire inflames, consumes, inspires, illuminates, warms and serves as a catalyst for change.  Native Americans saw smoke as a symbol and pathway to send and release thoughts and prayers to the Great Spirit. 

There is freedom in releasing and letting go.  It’s a form of surrender to that which is greater.  Forgiveness is an example of truly releasing, i.e. “For giving freedom to all!”  Releasing what no longer serves, makes room for the desires of the heart and soul. 

The burning bowl ritual focuses on what wants/needs to be released from the past, to free up the present moment, and be intentional in the invitation of what we truly want and what wants to emerge as we pave the pathway into the future.  It honors our awareness of what needs to change in our lives so that we can realize a higher potential in ourselves and our experience.  

You may follow this practice by yourself or in a group. It is very powerful to share this ceremony with a group of trusted friends, family, or a special group you are connected to on an authentic level. 

The Ritual:

Things you will need to have ready:

• Paper strips or Flying Wishing Paper*

• Pen

• A safe place to burn the paper – brass or glass bowl, a fire place, or outdoor fire pit

• Matches

• Sage or sweetgrass optional

1.      Setting the tone: Find a quiet place to be thoughtful in meditation/contemplation.  Settle in, get in a comfortable position to relax and be grounded. Open your mind to what you want to release from 2020 and invite in for 2021. ​ A few ways to get grounded are deep breathing, alternate nostril breathing*, and saying a Mantra as you breathe*.

2.      Gratitude:  Allow yourself to quiet your mind and begin to focus on what you are grateful for.  Celebrate and give thanks for all that you are grateful for in your life. 

3.      Acknowledge what is ready to release: When your heart is open and your mind is calm, write on a piece of paper the specific things, emotions, limiting thinking, habits, behaviors, people, etc. that you know it’s time to release. The act of writing it down is a humble acknowledgment and truth-telling, the key to true surrender and release.

•      What are you ready to let go of? 

•      What keeps you from having the experience you want to have?     

4.      Let go: In a safe way, offer this paper into the fire (Please use a fire-safe bowl, pit, fireplace, outdoor candle, etc.).  Sometimes people also put sage or sweetgrass into the fire along with the paper, as a form of cleansing, as ancient cultures have done to purify. As the papers burn, imagine that you are being released and freed from that which has bound you or held you back.  You may say out loud an affirmation such as “I forgive and release everything and everyone from the past and present that no longer serves, for the highest good for all involved, offering freedom and peace.” Or “Into this smoke, I release all energies that do not serve me, all negativity that surrounds me and all fears that limit me. So it is.” Rub your hands together for a final release of the attachment that you just let go of.

5.      Inviting in, New intentions:  Make a new list of what you are inviting in to move forward into the next phase of your life.  Invite in what you want to create, manifest, and experience in this next phase.  The sky’s the limit!  Take a leap of faith and follow your bliss! Write those items or experiences onto pieces of paper.

•      What do you want? 

•      What else does your heart yearn for that wasn’t allowed or was held back by fear 

6.      Release:   Again, put the paper into the fire and allow it to be released to that which is greater; trust in setting the intention and letting it go calls forth the support of the Universe. As you burn each intention you can say “I am inviting in ______”

7.      Take inspired action and bless the process:  Make a list of that which is within your reach and ability to take action on that serves in moving you towards your intentions. This is your work.  Finally, give thanks and gratitude for the process, honoring the great mystery that partners with you, and blessing your part in realizing what it is you want. 

Options for setting the tone

* Try a Kundalini and Hatha Yoga Alternate Nostril breathing exercise.​ This practice is an excellent way to let go of worries at the end of the day and to calm down the mind​. Inhaling through the left nostril helps to allow new perspectives, allowing you to reset your framework of thinking​. Exhaling through the right nostril relaxes the constant chatter in your brain and helps break autonomic patterns​. Alternate nostril breathing establishes emotional balance and calmness​.

Alternate nostril breathing instructions:

• Close your eyes, looking gently up to focus on the Brow Point.​

• Use the right thumb and right (pinkie) to close off alternate nostrils. ​

• Close off the right nostril with the right thumb. Inhale slowly and deeply through the left nostril. When the breath is full, switch nostrils

• Close off the left nostril with the little finger, and exhale slowly and fully through the right​ nostril. ​

• The breath is smooth, complete, and continuous​

• Continue with long deep and even breaths for 3 minutes 

*You can add a Mantra if you choose. You can use any two words that have meaning for you. Use the same words for the entire practice.​ Some possible examples are:​

• inhale peace - exhale love,

• inhale light - exhale darkness,​

• inhale gratitude - exhale happiness
  

Note:  I discovered Wishing Paper, which is a special paper that is safe to burn indoors.  You can write on it, roll it up (as described in the instructions), light it, and as it ignites, it flies up in the air and instantly turns into a single ash that falls down in one piece completely free from embers.  You can find these online or in specialty or novelty stores.   

Ele Dootson, ACC, is a Transformational Life Coach and owner of Radiant Light Coaching. Ele approaches coaching from a place of courage, compassion, empathy, and vulnerability which allows her to create strong partnerships with her clients. Ele empowers individuals to access their inner wisdom and power to create a life of courage, confidence and choice. Many of her clients are Highly Sensitive People who discover how to move from surviving to thriving, from overwhelm to calm, and to create intentions, choices, and actions that are in alignment with their authentic self in order to live life fully, purposefully, and vibrantly!

Mindful Celebration

2020 is almost over! Many of us looked at this year with such promise; we all had high hopes for “2020 vision” coming from this unique year. Boy, were we surprised and even frightened by what actually showed up! And perhaps, just perhaps, if we look through a special lens, we can see that we gained 2020 vision from an unexpected source.

Did you get new awareness about what is really important to you?
Did you find new ways and new opportunities to connect with people?
Did you take on a new challenge or two (like Zoom!) or stretch your comfort zone?
What new thing did you learn about yourself, your loved ones, or the world around you?

Despite all the challenges, sadness, conflict, and strife caused by COVID and the conflict in the country, I would like to propose that we mindfully and consciously celebrate the ways we have not only survived but thrived in 2020. We’ve gained new appreciation for things we used to take for granted.

If you put on a “positive thoughts only” lens, what comes to mind when you read these questions?
What energized you this year?
What would you consider a big win, a medium win, and even a few little wins?
Where are you gaining momentum? What direction are you heading?

I use these questions to take note of what I want to celebrate. It’s like looking at a range of mountains and noticing only the well-lit peaks. Acknowledging and celebrating what is working well inspires me to repeat or build on those things. Allow me to share a little…

My big business win, besides relaunching my newsletter, was taking a few really great training programs; Coach Mentor Certification and Positive Intelligence. I chose them so that I could serve my clients in all new ways but I think I have benefited from them in both personal and professional ways that I didn’t expect. The Positive Intelligence course allows me to offer my clients a fantastic new process to build their mental fitness – finding positive ways to reframe and overcome challenges. Little did I know I would go through such huge losses this fall, and I used the tools of mental fitness to help me stay inspired, motivated, and passionate about my life and my work. I’ll be offering my own course to the public in January.

A personal big win was the beautiful patio that my husband and I built. We spent many hours planning, measuring, digging, and laying stone and pavers. We’ve never done a physical-labor project together from start to finish and it proved to be a successful partnership. (like our 40-year marriage!)

Smaller wins included saving money on gas, focusing on my writing again, getting a little more organized, and becoming a bit of a Zoom expert.

When I think of what energized me, I have to mention that I worked on Election Day as a Poll worker for the very first time and was “thanked for my service” by many people. I thoroughly enjoyed the 15-hour day and met wonderful people (and only one challenger) in the process. After months of seeing so few people in person, it was an extroverted person’s dream day!

I’ve shared with you some of my list of wins and energizers – now it’s your turn.

Take out a journal, a notebook, or a fresh document in your computer and start celebrating your wins, your energizers, the new things you learned, and the ways your life is building momentum. What do you have new appreciation for? What do you want to do more of? This is the first step in creating a plan for 2021.

Watch for the second half of this article in a few weeks. You’ll get to consciously release what didn’t serve you and calmly and mindfully invite into your life what is meaningful and treasured. I might just include a video of me demonstrating this exercise!! (Can we say S-T-R-E-T-C-H?)