Gratitude Leads to Happiness

I first heard about keeping a gratitude journal back in the 90’s from Oprah Winfrey. It was always something “I should do”. The student wasn’t ready for the teacher yet! Over time, I started to notice what gratitude gave me – a lighter, happier feeling. When I studied to become an OASIS in the Overwhelm practitioner in 2017 and had to learn about the neuroplasticity of our brain, I learned we can change the default ways of thinking that lead to our unhappiness.

In our natural state, humans have a “Negativity Bias”. Our brains are Velcro for the bad – always looking for what is wrong, what is dangerous, and what might change our lives too much. This was very helpful back in pre-historic days, but not so helpful now. Add the 21st Century drive to Do, Do, Do, plus the fear and complications of Covid and we have a recipe for 24/7 stress. This tendency causes us to feel anxious and doesn’t allow our “fight or flight’ mechanism to ever calm down.

Gratitude is a mindset, a practice, and a way of being. If we “practice” gratitude, then our brain starts to look for things we are grateful for. Gratitude is one of those emotions that can only lift us up and makes us more resilient and more likely to have hope and happiness.

I’m going to share a few things I’m grateful for this year and invite you to write your own list.

I’m grateful for the gift of more time with my husband – chats out in the garden when we’re both taking a break from work, and time to make big salads together on Monday and Wednesday night. We’ve had a glimpse into retirement and it sure is a huge improvement over the 27 years Steve commuted 4-5 hours a day!

I’m grateful for technology. It’s a wonderful way to meet with my clients, friends, and family. Zoom allows me to have clients in TX, WA, CA, MD, and all over CT without leaving my house. In the early years, I coached my clients over the phone, but it is so much more fun having the visual connection. It was Zoom that has helped me grow my business. Zoom also allowed me to connect with family and friends after my sister died.

I am so grateful to have had such an inspiring sister, Grace Flannery. She was the reason I became a coach back in 2006. I’m grateful I could take the first course with her and many that followed. I’m so appreciative of her mentoring and wisdom over these 14 years, and her friendship all my life. I’m also grateful for the outpouring of empathy from friends all over the country after she died. I have a huge stack of cards and they make me happy because every single one of them is a virtual hug and a sign of love.

I’m grateful for the peers I’ve talked with on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, the courses I’ve taken this year, and the new friendships I’ve developed.

I’m grateful that we have the science and technology that we didn’t have back in 1918 to beat this virus and to save lives. (I just wish more people would heed the warnings). I’m grateful for my health and for masks, hand sanitizer, and telehealth if I need it. I’m also very grateful for ways to order take-out food from my favorite restaurants!

See what I did there? I have the choice to reframe challenges and to see gifts and goodness. If we only see the negative side of challenges, we lose out. Because in every challenge – no matter how big – there is a gift. Ex. I lost my sister, but Grace is always with me as the gift of inspiration and encouragement.

What are you grateful? Go beyond “family and friends”. What are the little unique things that you used to take for granted? What are the gifts you’ve gained or new superpowers you’ve grown as a result of a challenge?

Remember, studies show that having a gratitude practice leads to happiness. You can call me a Pollyanna… but it works!!