Are You Avoiding the BIG THINGS? What are you doing instead?

In my last post I talked about avoiding – putting off some sort of task, conversation, or decision – due to a variety of reasons. This time I want to dig a little deeper into what we tend to do instead of the Big Things. I say “we” because I am a classic recovering Avoider so I am very familiar with the Avoider’s mindset!

Sometimes the Big Thing is something we know very well – like doing our taxes, getting a physical, or preparing a presentation. Other times the Big Thing is an unfulfilled dream; to finally start a business, to de-clutter the entire house, or to find life balance. The mindset of avoidance might keep us from doing anything BUT that Big Thing that would be a huge relief or a big win. Let’s call them Default Tasks.

These default tasks fall into five categories: Easy Wins, Distractions, The Predictable, The Mundane, and the Right Channel, Wrong Task. Start paying attention to which categories you spend your time in.

Easy wins are all relative to the doer. What I consider easy might be painful for someone else. (I LOVE to balance my checkbook!) What they have in common is that they may only take a few minutes and require little effort. They don’t take up a lot of mental space for you and they’ll allow you to cross something off your list. “I need to do this anyway, so why don’t I just do it first to get it out of the way?” The problem is that, if you’re not careful, easy wins can take up some of your best chunks of time.

Distractions are often time wasters that cause you to lose focus. They may start off as a task but keep your attention for way too long. (Example – social media and emails). Distractions might also be your surroundings, the people in your life, or current events. They lure your attention away and break down your willpower to work on that one Big Thing. Distractions may also include food or other alternatives we choose to soothe the anxiety of not doing the Big Thing. (That’s a whole other topic!)

The Predictable are things that you KNOW – what to do, how long it will take, and what the probable outcome will be. These things are most likely tasks that you’re really good at. They might be similar to easy wins but may not even be on your to-do list and will help you rationalize why you don’t have time for the Big Thing.

The Mundane are daily chores or tasks that are like a constant wave – you never get completely ahead. Do you suddenly start doing laundry, cleaning the fridge, or walking your pet to avoid what you “should” be doing? My house is never cleaner than when I have a Big Thing to do.

Right Channel, Wrong Task. Sometimes we choose a task that is in the right channel, but the wrong target. Do you call your favorite work colleague for no reason instead of having a pointed conversation that is really pressing on you? Do you work on Project A instead of B, which needs more pressing attention?

Sometimes we get started on a long-term Big Thing and then lose focus or willpower. Have you committed to “getting healthy” and started an exercise regimen only to see it wane after a few weeks or months? Have you started a business plan or looked into a new certification but then never followed through?

The alternatives to working on our Big Thing are part of our everyday life. It is often normal to be doing the alternatives, just not helpful! The key to achieving the Big Things is to prioritize them, commit to them, set boundaries around the alternatives, and do ONE Big Thing at a time.

If you need a little help, let me know. In my next post I’ll share some other strategies to get into action around your Big Things.